Baby Things I Couldn't Have Done Without

Being that Elijah is well on his way into the world of Toddlerhood, I got to thinking today about the things that were life savers to me in his first 14 months of Infanthood. And the top 5 are (drumroll, please....)

1) The Miracle Blanket.
Enough said. It was indeed a miracle. This is my go-to baby gift now. Eli was able to sleep for longer stretches in this because it actually kept him swaddled, unlike so many other blankets I tried. I initially referred to it as the "straight jacket for babies", but realized that sounded somewhat austere, so I opted for calling it a "cocoon for babies". Much nicer ring to that. I wore mine slap out. Holes in it and everything. I was able to use it until E was about 4 or 5 months old. I love that blanket.



2) The Boppy. Duh, right? Esp for nursing moms. For trying to nurse anywhere (plane, a chair with no arms) this thing was priceless. It also helped anyone else who may have had to try to give Eli the occasional bottle of pumped milk, as it was something he already associated with meal time. It's also a great help for propping baby up, and for helping with tummy time. We used it every day until Eli was weaned.





3) The HALO Sleep Sack. I love this because I don't have to worry about Eli getting suffocated on a regular blanket, but I still know he's nice and cozy. They have cotton for the summer and fleece for the winter. They come with or without swaddling wraps depending on your baby's development level. Once he starts rolling over, you don't want to swaddle any more. They also come in an array of sizes to grow with your baby. Eli still uses one for naps and he's almost 15 months now. Another plus of using the sack is that it is an important part of our "naptime routine". When the sack goes on, he knows it is getting time for nap, and he will almost immediately start rubbing his eyes.

4) Room Darkening Drapes. I noticed a HUGE difference in the length of Eli's naps once I bought a pair of these for his room. Again, an important part of the nap routine is a darkened room. I bought mine at Target, but you can get them just about anywhere to match any decor.

5) An air filter. I purchased a relatively inexpensive air filter, also from Target, to put in Eli's room. In addition to helping with air quality, it also provides a nice soothing "white noise" effect that helps drown out any smaller noises that might disturb his sleep. And yet again, this is another important part of our nap and nighttime routine. When the air filter goes on, his head goes right on my shoulder and he starts to burrow down. Sweet boy :)

So, these were the things that I immediately thought of off the top of my head. I didn't sit and plan this out and weigh which things were most important. These just must be because they were the first things I thought of. Funny how 4/5 of these are related to sleep. Because let's face it, if baby's not sleeping, mama's not sleeping. And that makes for one unhappy household.

Honorable Mention. On Becoming Babywise. The reason I put this as honorable mention and not on the list is because although I credit this book with being a great tool in helping get your baby on a good eat/sleep/play routine, I understand that it will not work for every parent. Also, it is just what I said, a Tool. It is not the gospel. There are even things in the book that I didn't agree with or that didn't work for me. That being said, the basic principles of feeding and sleep schedules helped us immensely. Eli was sleeping through the night (8-9 hr stretches) by about 12 weeks old. He is currently a great napper and nighttime sleeper. Obviously we had our setbacks and battles, but this book helped me set a good foundation. I will say that I checked out other books in the Babywise series and WAS NOT impressed at all. In fact I would warn you to stay away from the other books in this series. Not helpful or practical, and in some instances harmful.

So, hopefully this can be helpful to some new parents or parents-to-be out there!

Parenting: A Year In Review, the Hard Stuff

I know there are tons of blogs, websites, etc that celebrate the joys of motherhood. I agree with all that. Being a mom is great, but I feel like there aren't enough resources out there for moms who struggle in certain areas. It's like we're not supposed to talk about it or something. So, this post isn't intended to be negative or complaining, just realistic. Hopefully it helps some other moms with the same feelings.

I am not one of those women who idealized motherhood. I had no lofty ideals about me and and my baby nuzzling together and all being right with the world, no illusions that being a parent is all rainbows and sunshine. I did not think being a mother would complete me. I was content with my life before Elijah. People are are shocked when they ask me, "Could you imagine your life without him?" and I say yes. Not because I don't love my child more than my own life (and I do), but because I was never sure I wanted children. So yes, I had imagined my life without him.

Some people don't understand this line of thinking and that's okay. I am kind of a misfit among moms anyway. In my defense I will say I think this point of view has made me a better mom. I truly appreciate and am thankful for the amazing gift of our son. Because I was already content, already happy with my life, he has just been icing on the cake. But that icing didn't come without lots of hard work.

No one could have truly prepared me for the work that goes into being a mother. Like I said, I knew it was not this Utopian existence once he was born, yet it was all tougher than I imagined. I was committed to doing the absolute best for our son, the best as far as my and Rusty's opinions go. I wanted to have a natural birth, to cloth diaper (more on that in a later post), to breastfeed exclusively for 6 months, and feed him a Paleo-style diet when he began solids (I got a lot of good info about feeding your baby primal style at Mark's Daily Apple), and (gasp) to be a Stay At Home Mom. Mind you, when we found out we were pregnant I said to Rusty, "I hope you don't expect me to stay home with this kid." hahaha. Obviously my tune changed rather quickly once I saw his sweet face. So far we have accomplished all these things, minus the Paleo. That kind of went out the window after about the 10-month mark when he was introduced to bread...now that's all he wants!

Anyhow, for me the toughest parts were first of all, the recovery. Man, NOBODY could have prepared me for this one. I feel like everyone glossed over this part. Mostly because no one wants to remember it I guess. I think labor paled in comparison to the recovery. Yes, natural child birth was rough, but once you're done that's it. No side effects, so lingering symptoms, no more pain. Nobody could have prepared me for how gross I would feel after I had my baby. I hated looking in the mirror and I for sure didn't want Rusty to see me naked. I didn't feel like myself for months. It's better now, although I still have body image issues (darn stretch marks) and I still pee all over myself if I jump rope or run. Oh well, small price to pay for our sweet boy. Still there are days when I miss my old body.

The second toughest part for me has been the loss of myself. Being a good parent means being absolutely selfless. If you choose to breastfeed exclusively this is especially true. I remember on numerous occasions telling Rusty or my mom, "I'm just a pair of boobs!". I felt like the rocker in Eli's nursery had a permanent mold of my butt in it. In the beginning when you are feeding every 2-3 hrs it seems like there will never be an end to it. It would have been so much easier just to give him formula or start pushing rice cereal down his throat at 2 months so he would sleep longer stretches, but I just didn't feel like that was the best decision for my baby.  I tried to follow the tips from the book On Becoming Babywise. I HIGHLY recommend this book. I stuck to the basic principles of the book, and Eli was sleeping through the night by about 3 months old. As with any book, it's not perfect, but you obviously don't have to subscribe to every suggestion in the book. It just worked really well for us. He continues to be a good napper and a good sleeper with the common exceptions of teething, certain milestones, etc. Now that he is a year old, I have begun the weaning process and it's going fine. I am still feeding him first thing in the morning and before bedtime, but that will probably stop for good at the end of the month when Rusty and I go to NV for a friend's wedding that Rusty is in. Did I mention how excited I am to have a 4-day vaca with my hubby...ALONE!!!! First time away together since Eli was born! Thanks Mom & Rob for watching Elijah!

In addition to nursing, being a stay-at-home Mom has also made me feel isolated. I don't miss my job for one second, but I do miss the social interaction with other adults. On top of that, many of you know that Rusty is gone for work. A LOT. So, my best friend isn't here a majority of the time. My family lives 6 hrs away. My best girl friends are spread out from DC to Nashville to Salt Lake City. I have a wonderful church family with a ton of great women who have helped me tremendously, but there's just not the same closeness there as with some of my other closest friends. And it seems so complicated to try and coordinate playdates, lunches, hangout times, etc with my friends here. Why does everything have to be so planned and organized? I just wanna hang and chat without having it penciled in 2 weeks in advance. I sometimes feel like I am the only SAHM in Columbus that doesn't scrapbook, craft, chair something, or join a Mommy Group. Nothing is wrong with those things, in fact they are great, if you enjoy them. I don't. I tried the Mommy Group thing, but it didn't click for me. I'm with my kid all day, the last thing I want to do if I have "me time" is to spend it talking about kids (again, back to the loss of self). I started working out at home to save money, but I am considering joining back up at the gym just to have some interaction with other women who enjoy the things I do (working out, for example).

I absolutely adore my son. He brings so much joy to my life. He has made my relationship with Rusty even better. He has made my relationship with God better. You know a whole different kind of love with a child. Plus, Eli is just awesome. Most people know I'm not exactly a baby/kid person, but even if Eli wasn't my kid, I would still think he was awesome. He smiles all the time. He is such a ham. He does the "scary face". He does Superman arms every time he sees Grandpa. He shrieks with delight when I chase him around the house. He waves and smiles at strangers in the grocery store, in restaurants, in Target, you name it. He carries balls with him everywhere. He feeds the dogs from his high chair. He bee-bops to music. He would probably sleep in the bathtub if I let him. He loves the vacuum cleaner and tries to talk over it every time I vacuum. He's just a funny kid and I love him to death. So, here I am doing the best I can for my son, but trying to be honest about what the hardest things are about trying to do my best...just a work in progress!

Eli's Scary Face